We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
either way he was missing a nipple.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
