The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
