the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
