Will you blow on my dice?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
