this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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