the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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