the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
