Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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