He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
