I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
