Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
