since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
