Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
