I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
