Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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