one might say we're banned from that church
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
