She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
