I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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