Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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