I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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