she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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