If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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