Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
