hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
