where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize