Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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