boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
