i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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