I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
