is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
