what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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