Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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