i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
