I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
