you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
