It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
