Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
