Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
