No subtext here. People are naked.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
