Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
