I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
