So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
