I should be sponsored by Trojan
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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