You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
