Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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