need another drink. this is the easiest way
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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