So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
