You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
