apparently the secret to your success is patron
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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