I hate all girls vehemently.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
