After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
