We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
