Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize