someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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