pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
