I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
