i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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