all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
