he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
