He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I am puke
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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