i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
